A Letter To 22 and 42-year-old Me

Did you guys ever do this? Write a letter to your future self? In my computer labs class, we wrote one to our 25-year-old self. I'm computer labs old! It was hilarious. One verbatim line was: I hope you are partying up. I was 12. I thank my grandma for saving it and giving me the best laugh reading that 🤣.

It's my birthday week so I figured a letter to both my 22 and 42-year-old self would be a fun way to reflect and share. I turned 32 this week and every year I feel more alive.

Dear 22-year-old B,

Thank you for your hunger. Thank you for your drive. I remember your fire and determination every day and it inspires me.

Enjoy the box-dyed black hair and the tan. It was a serve for the moment. I know it's tough right now figuring out your place in the world. Keep telling yourself, you've got this. Because you did, and you did more than that.

I wish I did better at taking care of you. We did not do that body-building competition. I’m sorry. Our relationship with food and exercise got way worse before it got better. You would be ecstatic to see us today though. We’ve come so far.

We're no longer afraid to be seen or heard so fully. Yes, you did get everything you wanted career-wise and so much more. So that interview you cried in? Worth it! Are we married? Not yet. Are you a mom? Not yet.  Are you happy? Big yes!

You are living your “Devil Wears Prada” life in your own way. You’ve traveled the world and are the person you wanted to become.

You persevered through failure and heartbreak many times. I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you! I love you!!!

Dead 42-year-old B,

I have SO many questions for you. Where do I start?

Did you reach your dreams? Is all the exercise, water, and our Botox routine proving successful? What’s our workout routine these days?

Are you still making the world beautiful as you like to say? Does LWBC still exist? Did you open that Pilates studio?

How are the Logrono’s? Good? Crazy? I hope both. How are the bestie girls? Did your relationship continue to grow more in love? Did you go with that ring you tried on in Texas? Did the book come out?!

Right now, we’ve had an incredible 365. Filled with laughter, accomplishment, and love. This was your first year reaching your biggest work milestone, and starting some side gigs that stem from your passions. We’ve also watered into so many relationships and carved out time for us. Your relationship took one big unexpected restart and it was worth it. It needed to happen. You grew so much and watched the people around you grow as well.

Am I making you proud?! I think of you often. I work every day to make you as happy as I am writing to 22-year-old me.

My hopes for you are endless and I think of them regularly to move me each day. Here are some of them…

I hope that you have continued to build a life you’re proud of. That you have leaned more into yourself and your gifts, and have continued to grow and spread your light. I hope you own every mistake you make and continue to let them be your power and teach you. It’s something we’re currently working on. I hope you hold less shame about not being perfect, another thing we’re working on.

I hope you still wake up at the crack of dawn every so often and chase a sunrise. I hope you continue to find still moments in reading and writing, or maybe something new. I hope you still pour into yourself. I hope you finally have that garden and raise beautiful hydrangeas every June. I hope you still relish in wiggling the sand in your toes. I hope we’re the hot MILF we’ve been training to be. I hope you dance like everyone is watching with no fear. I hope you are rich in love.

I hope you read this and remember us staring down at the blue Jamaican waters as we finished writing this, and remember the feeling of peace and calm you’re feeling today.

Until we meet.

XO, B.

Thank you for reading. These were a wee bit personal but something I felt many people can connect to. Take care 🩷.